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Playing to be Evil - by TheHeretic

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TheHeretic Proudly Presents

Playing to be Evil - The Darker Side of League of Legends

"Is it a reasonable thing, I ask you, for a grown man to run about and hit a ball? Poker's the only game fit for a grown man. Then, your hand is against every man's, and every man's is against yours. Teamwork? Who ever made a fortune by teamwork? There's only one way to make a fortune, and that's to down the fellow who's up against you." - W. Somerset Maugham

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"To be bound by a sense of morality is to be bound by a set of rules that go unregulated. From Alexander the Great to Genghis Khan, these men knew more than anyone that power and success only ever come at the expense of others power, and others success. The world lives in a state of balance: for every winner there must also be a loser, and in face of the greatest opponents, indeed, many losers." 


About a year ago I attended a job interview. The position was a temporary one but the pay was exceptional for someone still attending University. Applying alongside a friend of mine, his grade average was considerably better than mine. On the day of the second interview, which we and several others got, we were asked to bring our university transcripts in. Knowing others would be unwittingly better than mine, I doctored it to give myself better grades than I actually have. I've spent most of days chasing skirt and getting drunk, so I thought "hey,
what's the worst that can happen"?

After the second interview I was offered the job, and three months later I had experience and plenty of cash under my belt. I had to laugh at how ridiculous it was: others had studied so hard and yet someone like me steps in and replicates their success in a matter of minutes. I've wondered if what I did was fair to those other applicants, but then I think, whose life am I living here? I guess I see life as a poker table, you can't change the cards you are dealt, you can only do the best with what you have, and how others see them. We aren't all gifted and disciplined students, so if life hands us some mediocre cards who's to tell us we can't do our best with them?

You are in for a very, very long read. This document is thousands of words because it is very detailed. It explores many, many avenues of

League of Legends, and how to excel in all aspects in the game. Reading this will take you no longer than one complete game, yet I promise it will change how you see every game you play thereafter, and probably a little of life in general. I'm sure others think how I do, but few are willing to express it in an open and honest way.

Competitive games are endlessly entertaining, and if you are reading this you probably enjoy playing them. You'll also know that winning feels great, whereas losing rarely so. Minimizing your losses is the roundabout objective of any player, of any game, even if they claim they are in it for "fun". Playing it straight in LoL is akin to rolling the dice, most games will come down to your team, their team, and which is ultimately better. It's difficult to maintain a winning ratio that's significantly higher than fifty-fifty, especially if you play alone.

Here you'll learn the art of getting your hands dirty. To you the ends justify the means and your own gratification is worth a hundred times more than anyone else's. You don't play games like these to entertain others, do you? You're in it for yourself! Admit it, and join the ranks of players who've been laughing to themselves at the expense of others for years. Keep an open mind and always remember, it's either you or them tasting the sweet sensation of victory.

It might as well be you.

Sit down, grab a glass of your parents liquor and learn how to win the wrong way. :)

Table of Contents

Before it Even Begins

* Poker, Poker 
* Mindsets 
* Pre-Game Strategy 
* Champion Selection 
* Solo versus Premade 

Those Opening Minutes

* Identifying and Exploiting Premades 
* Understanding Lanes 
* Player Profiling 

The Battle Rages On

* Abusing All-Chat 18
* Psychological Warfare 19
* Dealing with Superior Players 21
* Using Allies 23
* Dealing with Inferior Allies 24
* The Enemy Carry 25
* Acknowledging and Abusing the Bounty System 26
* Encouraging Leavers 27
* Bad Beats 28

The Coup De Grace

* Encouraging Premature Surrenders 29
* When the Chips are Down 30
* Post-Game Analysis 31

Miscellaneous Malevolence

* Acts of Evil, With Friends! 32
* Managing Risks 33
* Champion Choices 34
* Great Historic Moments of Psychological Warfare 36
* Frequently Asked Questions 37
* Special Thanks 39
* Final Thoughts 40

Poker, Poker

Texas Hold'em is a fascinating game, and if you've watched a television set in the last 5 years you'll be aware of the World Series of Poker: the best poker players in the world duking it out for millions. At its core Texas Hold'em is a simple game, and technically there's only one way to play it. Wait until you have a strong hand, sitting most hands out, and betting aggressively in the hands you do participate in. If you watch professional players at a table you'll see a lot of folding, and it can be rather mundane to only see ace-king being played constantly, but the real game begins when half the table has been eliminated.

At this point the odds go out the window, because the chance that "someone" has a powerful hand is severely diminished. People begin playing looser and it becomes about creating the illusion you are holding something better than you really are. The men are separated from the boys when people are throwing in tens of thousands of dollars with nothing substantial to back it up. The psychological pressure begins to build and only the strongest manage to consistently win. Being able to sell your dominance without actually possessing is very potent.

Imagine sitting at a table. You have three jacks, and you know just by looking at the five "community cards" the only hand that could possibly beat you is a straight. The odds are dramatically in your favour but your opponent has only bet the best hands all night. You look over at him and he stares right back at you, cold and steadfast. As the world is watching you prepare to throw every chip you have in the middle. This one hand is the difference between winning millions and winning almost nothing. Between becoming a poker legend and being another "almost". The pressure these players go through is truly incredible.

So what the f*ck does this have to do with anything? In games like LoL people see numbers: what's his HP, what's my HP, what are my skills, what are his. A calculation is subconsciously made as to whether to engage or not. In poker you play the person, not the cards, and it holds true in LoL. You're never "really" playing another Champion, you are playing the person behind. A professional poker player can play his opponents "blind" - not even knowing what his own cards are. They are irrelevant, because he knows no matter what he has he can tell what everyone else does and represent anything he wants to.

Let this be the pretext. Stop seeing numbers and start thinking about who you are up against. Your game will improve.


Ever get the feeling everything just seems to be going your way? Maybe it was a day at work, or a game of LoL. Everything seems to be going your way, and nothing can put you down. Ploughing through obstacles, success seems inevitable and it carries over through multiple games. Now think about a shitty day you had: spilling coffee, ejaculating prematurely, losing constantly. It seems to carry over too, doesn't? It almost like fate is toying with you, making sure you experience the very best and worst life has to offer.

Well it's not fate, it's your mindset. Having the right mindset is all about capturing that unstoppable feeling you've absolutely had: and instead of bringing it out when things "happen" to go your way, bringing it to every game you play. Pessimism breeds failure: you want to subconsciously "fail" to prove you were actually right.

Example? Ever had a game and you or a friend said "look at their line-up, we're finished!" or something along those lines? When you actually lose you or they said "I told you so"! That's called fatalism, and its bullshit. Every time you think you "couldn't" win a game because you had feeders, a stronger enemy team, or whatever, ask yourself this. What would the best LoL player have done? Would they have been able to turn it around?

Many times the answer is yes. Stop making excuses about why you are going to lose and start thinking about how you are going to win. Remember that feeling of being on top of the world and evoke it in every game. No matter how you did last game, the next is a clean slate: a chance to turn it all around. Be positive in LoL and in life, because as pessimism breeds failure optimism breeds success.

Pre-Game Strategy

Before a game even begins, most people fuck up. They fuck up as they pick their champion, as they pick their runes and summoner spells, and as they sit there scratching their balls as the game loads. Why? Because they don't think. The process is autonomous for 95% of players and it's an absurd place to start making mistakes.

First of all, watch your allied teams load out. What are they missing? Are they missing a tank, a carry, ranged heroes or melee heroes? You have little control over what other people do, but complete control over what you do. Pick a champion based on what's missing on your team, even within the context of this guide, which is quite limited champion wise, you should always aim to balance your team out. Most people simply pick their favourites: be better than that and have a range of champions you are willing to play at all times.

As the game loads you see the enemy team, and more importantly for the ONLY TIME in the game you can see the enemies summoner spells. Champions with flash and heal are harder to gank, whereas champions with teleport are better at assisting their allies. Memorise what each players load out is as best you can: the information is crucial. Think about which champions will be the easiest to kill, which will be the biggest threats, and which directly affect your own champion with counters.

Set goals for yourself before every game starts. These aren't iron-clad but they are important. What are you going to do in the first five minutes? Are you going for kills or gold and experience? Are you going to jungle? Will you need invisibility counters? Think about how you are going to apply these in game. If you are playing a strong early game champion like Evelynn you might say to yourself "I want four kills by level eight". This may or may not happen, but having a plan keeps you focused.

Champion Selection

Not all champions are made equal, and whilst balancing ensures they are roughly equivalent in power, you need to understand some champions are simply harder to play against then others. Tryndamere, for example, forces enemies to make bad decisions. When your ultimate is active the opponent has to run; facing colossal damage, or stand there doing no damage to you hoping he'll outlive the barrage and eventually kill
you. Such a judgement is beyond many players and gives you absolute leverage.

The antithesis, is a character like Ashe. Ashe comes with an air of predictability, you'll be auto-attacked and slowed. It's simply easier to tell how you'll fare against Ashe than it is against Tryndamere. Champions with blinking skills, critical reliance, invisibility or other "unpredictable's" are superior choices within the context of this guide. Think about how challenging your attack approach is to the opponent: do they see what's coming or is the issue blurry?

You want to force your opponent into making mistakes, and good players only make mistakes when the outcome is genuinely unclear. Playing champions like Twisted Fate, Kassadin, Katarina, Teemo and Master Yi are effective as their movements are unpredictable. No player can deal with Twisted Fate teleporting in behind them, nor Teemo leading them into a series of mines, which makes them all the more frustrating the play against.

Avoid predictable or one-note champions, and take note of my recommendation list later on.

Solo versus Premade

This guide is intended for solo or small groups of players, and there's a few points to be made here. Champions that are game changers will net you more wins than champions that are not. Master Yi can solo enemy towers, single handedly winning games, Soraka can do no such thing. Support heroes are great: I love playing them but by the same token who are you supporting? What if your team is garbage? It's a chance you probably shouldn't take if you are in it to win.

Generally speaking carries make the best candidates for a solo player. Unless you outright identify solid players on your team list a champion like Tyndramere, Tristana, Jax, Evelynn, Twitch or Twisted Fate can ensure you have the ability to turn the tide. If you pick Teemo, for example, an AP build is for support whereas damage items turn him into a carry. You can make such a choice retroactively as the game goes on. Know alternate builds for your champion, in a lot of games you'll have to carry the team and not every item build is designed to let you do this.

If you want to be a team player join a team, otherwise deal with the fact that in a solo game you can only rely on one person: yourself. Playing with friends is handled later on.

Identifying and Exploiting Premades

Spotting a premade is merely guesswork, but it's important. A premade is a team of friends who by virtue of having strong communication and familiar play-styles have an advantage over your team. There's no failsafe way to find out of an enemy team is a premade, but here's some tips.

Looks for commonalities in their names. Are they all short, long, do they all begin and end in a common way? Many friends will have a naming "theme" which makes spotting a premade rather easy. Is their team balanced? Do they have a range of support/tank/carry champions? Teams will often co-ordinate champion choices. Are they exploiting strong lane combinations? Are you up against dual stunners or any other synergistic lane type? Is anyone else? Are they buying "team" items like wards and aura effects? Most players favour selfish items over selfless ones. Are they playing co-operatively, with a lot of ganking and pushes? Finally, of course, are they all typing in all chat?

Defeating premades is tricky if they are good. Ideally you'll have a carry champion. Feed on their weakest player. Every premade team has one. Maybe it's a friend of theirs new to the game, or generally just a poorer player. Focus on killing him repeatedly, this brings tension among friends and can break up their teamwork. Hunting down a single person is far more effective than evenly killing all of them, though don't pass up opportunities, obviously! Warwick is the definitive repeat offender, so learning to play him can be advantageous. Remember that a group of friends is "in it together", and failing to defeat five strangers is pretty pathetic on their part. Remind them of this constantly. They sink or swim together and belittling their efforts brings down their morale in a way you could never do to five strangers.

Understanding Lanes
The next time you start a game do nothing for 5 minutes. Observe each lane, and instead of looking at the obvious look behind each champions movements. Are they aggressive? Defensive? What are they trying to achieve? Are they out for blood or are they in it for gold? Understanding comes before exploiting.

In my opinion there are only three possible lane scenarios. The first is the stalemate: usually involving two ranged champions, both opponents believe engaging the other is a waste of time. They may believe the risk to reward ratio is against them, or otherwise harbouring gold and levels is ultimately more important than harassing. I'd say this about 5% of lanes, usually with two ranged solos like Tristana and Ashe.
The second is the massacre lane, usually involving melee champions. Their proximity is much closer and hence the ability to strike your opponent is all the more tempting. These usually result in people dying a lot and rapid fluctuations in HP. Malphite versus Sion is almost guaranteed to be a massacre lane. I'd say this is about 20% of lanes.

If you are good with numbers you'll have figured out 75% percent of lanes remain the third archetype, the dominant-submissive type. Early on one player will make a very aggressive move, essentially frightening the opponent into playing conservatively. In most lanes one person will be the bitch; getting pushed around by the dominant player. Never be this guy. This is the lane type you always want to be in. When you enter a lane you should immediately let your opponent know you aren't to be fucked with. Conservative play is for pussies, be bold and live on the edge. Put stress on your opponent, force them into a position where they are constantly struggling to regain the presence. Katarina is perfect for this: random Shunpo's intimidate people, making them perform below par.

In competitive scenarios you can "program" people by creating a consistent result to every one of their actions. This is called operant conditioning for those interested. When they attack you, attack them back. You'll be subconsciously telling them "when I attack them, I take damage". Understand most players are risk adverse and won't want to simply trade blows with you. If you punish their attacks they become less prone to coming after you. Being risk adverse also understand players don't deal well with snap decisions. For example, doing a Spinning
Slash behind someone with Tyndramere and attacking them almost always results in them fleeing. A lot of the time they can trade blows with you and because you are with their own friendlies you'll come out behind: but the rational outcome doesn't occur very often. When people are attacked, they flee. It's the flight instinct, and you can fuck with people constantly this way.

Psych outs are very effective as well. When people go in to attack they move towards you, beyond where they need to be to attack creeps. This is very predictable in action, but you can abuse it by constantly running forward and then rapidly retreating. This makes you almost impossible to anticipate, and really, really annoys most players. If every time you run forward they run back you are doing your job perfectly, and if they don't retreat: attack them. Some champions are better than others at this.
Learn to play a lane with lower amounts of health. This is an amazing skill to have, and a lot of players don't possess it. By weaving back and forth you are essentially baiting your opponent into trying to finish the job, and your creeps can cause them considerable damage as they try to do so. Never enter a lane without a regeneration item or health potions, this is a rookie play. If you have health regeneration and the opponent doesn't trading blows is advantageous as your recovery will be swifter. When sent back to base stock up on a few: they are inexpensive and can do you wonders. Buying up to 6 health potions in an especially hard lane is not unheard, the cost is inconsequential in the long term.

When entering a lane by yourself always check the bushes, failing that stand on the opposite side of the bushes to make any attack against you easier to spot. If you are a ranged character, standing close to your creeps is an aggressive move, and makes last hitting easier. It also allows you to hide your pot-shots against the enemy champion as you won't need to move in towards them, which gives away your intent. Get used to doing this, don't stand at your maximum range unless you need to.
Auto-attacking creeps pushes your own into the enemy tower. This makes last hitting them very difficult for your opponent, in effect denying him the gold he'd otherwise be earning. Always last hit, but pushing your creeps towards his tower works can be advantageous, though it gives him extra security from his own tower.

Click here for part 2!

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